Seniors Today Newspaper
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In A Nut Shell…

My computer stays so busy, I don’t take time to forward a message. However friends of mine has never stopped sending—and frankly—I’m loving ‘em! My friend Frankie sent me the following, a long time ago. This is me in a nut shell.
I just discovered my age group!!! I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager).
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into anyplace I want to go.
The people I hang around with are not scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long,
I have no idea who the writer is but I sure enjoyed the read!
Another time I received this message… and I had to save it. It is a rundown of comments made during the long career of Bob Hope!

On Turning 70—I still chase women, but only downhill.
On Turning 80—That’s the time of life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.
On Turning 90—You know you’re getting old when candles cost more than the cake.
On Turning 100—I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.
On Giving Up His Early Career—Boxing I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
On Never Winning An Oscar—Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover.’
On Golf—Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.
On Presidents—I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six.
On Why He Chose Showbiz For His Career—When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.
On Receiving The Congressional Gold Medal—I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
On His Family’s Early Poverty—Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.
On His Six Brothers—That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.
On His Early Failure—I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.
On Going To Heaven—I’ve done benefits for all religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Kitty Maiden is a staff writer for Seniors Today.